a gay anarchist watches red, white and royal blue (2023)
in which definitely-not-prince-harry tells king stephen fry that monarchy is silly, actually, and the people are astonished at his doctrine
Stephen Fry is the King. Uma Thurman with a southern drawl is the president, and chats cozily to her son on the oval office sofa about going on PrEP. Crowds of millions waving progress pride flags fill the streets to support gay Prince Harry Henry. Welcome to the wonderful upside-down world of Amazon original Red, White and Royal Blue (2023).
The film, based on a 2019 novel, asks a bold question. What if Prince Harry - sorry, Prince Henry, definitely not Prince Harry, just the younger spare heir whose glamorous and beloved parent died tragically, but anyway, definitely not the same guy - what if that guy was gay, and what if he fell in love with President Uma Thurman’s beautiful bisexual son? And what if President Uma Thurman’s beautiful bisexual son fell in love with him back, and they taught the world that it’s OK to be a gay prince and/or a beautiful bisexual president’s son? And what if the sheer, powerful, radiant gay hotness of their relationship enabled President Uma Thurman to flip Texas to the Democrats? What then?
I was expecting to watch this film as enjoyable trash, but it is actually a surprisingly well-executed rom-com. The two lead performances are actually very charming, from the initial “these two people clearly need to fuck it out” phase to the romantic mooning and eyelash-fluttering. The film’s cute depictions of flirty long-distance texting dates are so charming that you can briefly be forgiven for forgetting that we’re watching two of the most powerful young gay texters in the world. They are charming enough to have you rooting for them by the end, so when crowds line the mall to support their beautiful gay love, you find yourself thinking yes, correct for a brief moment, before turning to wait, what?
The film is presented as a culture clash between plucky American democracy and stuffy British hereditary privilege, which I imagine is very appealing for a certain type of US audience, but is quite bitterly amusing to watch for Brits in 2025 - as if the US presidency isn’t deeply dynastic! Pot, kettle, my friends! Indeed the film actually shows us Beautiful Bisexual Son becoming a political figure in his own right after helping with his mum’s campaign, without interrogating at all whether that undermines any of his sassy criticism about inherited privilege. Of course, the film is not really trying to do serious political critique, but it’s a bitterly amusing bit of US liberal self-fashioning, especially given, y’know, events.
The real achievement of this film is to provide a world guaranteed to make right-wing culture warriors absolutely apoplectic (lady president! gay son! gay prince! democrats flip Texas! pride flags! latinx First Husband!), while at the same time remaining incredibly small-c conservative. What if nothing about the structure of things has to change, but we can still have beautiful gay love? What if centuries of homophobia can be undone by giving a really cool speech saying you’re fucking a prince, and being a bit sassy at King Stephen Fry, who will be left speechless by the sheer power of your gay bravery? What if the The People had always been secretly yearning for the scions of their leaders to be gay, and just needed a couple brave and hot enough to say it out loud on the balcony of Buckingham Palace?
Media about powerful people (especially hot powerful people) has always had a strong escapist appeal. I watched The Crown, for goodness’ sake. I devoured Succession. This is an interesting new variant, where the hot powerful people live in an alternate reality where liberal progressivism won. Escapism upon escapism! We can probably expect there to be more of this sort of thing as things get worse.
Go and watch this film if you like gay meet-cutes, boys wrestling covered in cake, and enemies-to-lovers tropes. But remember, neither princes nor presidents nor liberals have a monopoly on those. Where are the gay anarchist rom-coms? Since I like to end my posts on a call to action: someone needs to make the gay anarchist rom-coms. Mooning not monarchy! Hotties without hierarchy! We carry a new world here in our (fluttering, pounding) hearts!